So I was up late the other night when I happened to catch a previously aired episode of The Wendy Williams Show. During her initial gossip talk, she began talking about Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. She said she thought he was the perfect guy until she recently found out that he is still not only friends, but also business partners with his ex wife. She was also alarmed by the fact that he did not pay her alimony, as he only pays child support. She felt this was a red flag and asked the audience how many would be comfortable dating their man knowing his ex wife still in the picture in this kind of capacity. Many in the audience shook their heads no. In fact, her words were “I knew he couldn’t be as perfect as he seems.” I think I must be different because I found that very odd. I found that to be a plus to him. I'll admit that there are quite a few things that would give me cause to pause with a man, but a great relationship with his ex wife and mother of his child is not one of them.
I have some high school buddies who recently celebrated
their 10th anniversary and they have a great relationship with the
wife’s ex husband. It took some
work, but they are finally there.
The ex attends quite a few family functions. If you didn’t know any better, you’d swear he was
family. Well to be honest, he
actually is. Another friend
expressed that he would have a serious problem with this situation. He stated that he would not want anyone
his wife was once intimate with to be that close to either of them—even if
children were involved. He would
prefer the honk the car horn to let us
know you’re outside when you pick up the kids method. Now maybe I’m just different, but I
find that so odd. I really don’t
get the problem with
Certainly everyone is entitled to his or her own opinion,
and I’m not bashing it. I’m just
confused as to why people feel this way.
While it’s not a necessarily accurate view, I tend to look at a person’s
relationship with their ex as a good indication of how they’ll probably be with
me should things come to an end. So
I feel that if he’s on good terms with her and still has a lot of love and
respect for her; he’ll probably have the same for me if things end. In my opinion, it is the mark of two
individuals who are choosing to be mature and respectful of the fact that they
weren’t meant to be together. And
that is ok. I’d much rather prefer
to deal with someone who has an excellent relationship and friendship with
their ex (I’m really referring to unions involving children), than one who is
at war with his ex. Now of course,
this presumption is operating under the premise that there is an either/or
circumstance, meaning that either the relationship is great or it’s
terrible. I understand that
everything is not black or white and there are actually more than a few shades of shades
of gray in life. I myself have a
rather meh relationship with my ex husband. We’re not at all friends. We’re also not mortal enemies. However, in saying that, I
can admit that we barely speak and we certainly haven’t mastered this
co-parenting thing. I would
actually like things to progress toward a friendship, but I don’t think it will
ever be. And I’ve made my peace
with that. So I do get that not everyone will have the idealized Dwayne Johnson/ex Dany Garcia relationship. But I don’t get why the former would be
more desirable for my future mate than the latter. I think people give ex’s way too much power. Unless the ex is extremely disrespectful
and oblivious to proper boundaries or your mate still wants his or her ex, I
see no reason to be that concerned with the ex. I think it would be beneficial for all parties to be
friendly. And again, I’m really
speaking more from the point of view of one who shares a child with an ex. I think when children are involved (and
I don’t mean grown children), I think it is much more healthy for everyone to
be friendly. I do get that
sometimes that just isn’t possible, but I would still think that would be more
ideal for a newcomer than to walk into the middle of the “baby momma/daddy
drama”. But like I said, I might
just be different. So what
say you? What are your thoughts on
the sich-e-a-shun?