The Disagreeable Debate

That video is just funny to me.  But anyway, on to the point of today’s post.  You know how there are things that make you go Hmmm ???  Well for me, Idon’t usually go hmmm.  I usually go “I don’t understand.”  And I’ll admit that there are a lot of things that make me go that way.  And there is something that I’ve been witnessing that is making me say it more and more these days.  Why is it so hard for people to respect another’s point of view/opinions/differences?  I really think it’s an issue of communication, or miscommunication, to be exact.  I think people tend to be under the misconception that respect means the same thing as agreement.  People tend to believe that in order to respect another’s opinion or actions, they must agree with or like it.   This, of course, is a total misconception. But I think it’s what is believed and that’swhat makes it so hard to open oneself.  We tend to view life in terms of relatability. Can I relate to what I just saw/read/heard?  Do I agree with it?  Because we tend to view life as such,we never really take the time to hear what others are saying, and respect where they are coming from.  That’s why accusations abound of one not listening. Usually the person will say You’re not listening! to which the response is usually Yes I am and a typical counter will go something like this: Well did you hear what I said? Sadly, most of us really never hear what is being said to us because we’re too busy in our heads coming up with the “right” argument against or reason for support in favor of what we've "heard". 

Our worldview is based on our experiences.  Our unique experiences shape our perceptions, opinions, behavior, etc. So we tend to project our worldview on to the world.  This projection keeps us from relating to people on heart to heart level. We think our way is the “right” way because hey it works for us.  Never mind that it actually might not work for us AND if it does, that doesn’t have anything to do with how it will work for someone else.  Years ago a friend of mine was looking for a dentist.  I recommended my dentist because I loved her and her staff and they always did a great job with my teeth.  Well, my friend went and had an absolutely horrible visit. She called me and asked me if I’d had a similar experience.  I hadn’t, and to this day, I never have.  It just didn’t work for her.  And thus is the way it goes for life. What might be right for you, may not be right for some.  A man is born, he’s a man of means.  Then along come two they got nothing but their jeans. But they got Diff’rentStrokes.  It takes Diff’rentStrokes to move the world.   Isn’t it funny how back in the day sitcom theme songs really had meaning?  

Ok, I’m back. But you get my point (or at least I hope you do).  But what I’m saying is that people tend to take another’s opinion personally.  Once they ascertain that your disagreement to their opinion is a personal matter, they then decide that you are not just “wrong”, but you are attacking them. And not just them, but their momma, their grandmomma, hell even their family dog who died 10 years ago and how dare you attack El Perro like that?!  In my rather humble opinion, I have a hard time understanding why people can’t just agree to disagree.  Moreover, I don’tunderstand why disagreeing has to be equate to being at ends with a person.  It’s not as if a difference in opinion is a serious threat to your life (unless it's that of the Republican party).  As a dear Facebook friend said "I can disagree with you without being disagreeable."   Sadly, many people are not able to do this.  Perhaps the world would be a more peaceful place if we could learn to respect oneanother’s opinions—even if they differ from our own. 

So what say you? Do you have a problem agreeing to disagree?  Do you find it difficult to respect another’s differing opinion?  Have you recently been in a situation where you either had to work very hard to agree to disagree or the other party did?  Let’s discuss.