It's Just a Love/Life Thing

I’ll admit when I first saw Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood, I could not relate at all.  It was just totally unrealistic to me.  A mother and daughter who don’t get along? How pitiful!  Back then my mom was my ace.  We were not just mother and daughter we were friends.  My experience just did not allow me to relate to what I was viewing.  Well, some years have passed and I can now relate a little bit.  But only a little bit.

I have grown tremendously over the course of these last few years.  While I can’t actually say that I have enjoyed the process—I mean let’s be honest, the period of growth in our lives is usually in the moments of darkness—I can say that I appreciate the lessons.  So here’s a totally true story that illustrates just how much I’ve grown.  Since my father’s passing, my mother and I have drifted very far away from one another.  We are no longer close, and while that was initially very painful for me, I’ve come to a place of peace about it.  Her birthday happened to arrive last week.  Her husband called me the previous week to invite me to a surprise party he was throwing for her at Outriggers.  He also asked if I would sing for my mom.  I told him I’m not a singer but I would say some words if he wanted me to.  So the night of the party, as promised, I did get on the mic and say some words to my mother.  I can’t recall everything I said, but I know I said something to the effect of how grateful I am for her nurturing and caring of me throughout most of my life because I don’t know who I would be without her.  When I arrived home, my god sis (the one I mentioned in last week’s post when I said I let her into my home) asked in what seemed like shock, “Wow so where did your speech come from?”  I wasn’t actually surprised by her question, as I now know how emotional immaturity prevents people from being able to understand what I understand today.  I simply responded with “My heart”, because it was the truth.  The words I said were real and they came from my heart. 

I have never understood why people seem to think that not liking someone or not liking something someone has done to you means you have to hate them or wish bad upon them.  That’s just silly to me.  I can’t get with that.  Here’s the thing:  my mother and I are not close today.  In my very humble opinion, her actions have shown me that she doesn’t respect me, which I have decided is unacceptable for me.  I do not believe that at this point in time my mother genuinely has my best interest at heart.  And so I have made the conscious choice to love my mother from a distance.  And this choice isn’t based on hatred or anger; it’s actually grounded in Love.  Most importantly, love for myself.  I know a lot of people believe in the whole martyr syndrome which says that if you love someone, you must put them above yourself and take whatever they give you all in the name of love.  That’s how you get people staying in relationships that are detrimental to their well being and they respond with one of those dramatic “But I love him/her/them!” leaving you to ask “But do you love yourself?!” Well because I do love myself, I have deemed that it is not necessary to put myself in the line of my mother’s fire. And don’t get me wrong; I’m not saying this to say my mother is a terrible person.  Our parents are just flawed human beings, and my mother is no exception.  I once subscribed to this notion of what a mother “should” be like.  Once my mother failed to meet those standards, I became hurt, despondent, and damn near inconsolable.  But then I matured and realized that was judgment.  I was judging my mother for her failure to be who I wanted her to be.  Well I’ll be! Once I let go of the judgment, acceptance came in.  Once I was able to accept her for whom she is (and not who I made her out to be in my mind), I opened the doors for compassion.  I now have compassion for my mother because I understand that until you can see things from another’s perspective, you will remain in judgment of them.  While I personally can’t understand how a mother can mistreat their own child, I recognize that I have not had the unique experiences which my mother and many others have had which makes it possible for them to behave the way they do.  And because I have compassion, I am no longer stuck in my pain and I can release both my pain and my mother without feeling like it’s taking something away from me.

I also matured and recognized that relationships are nothing but containers for growth.  Once you outgrow a relationship, it releases itself.  I was trying like mad to hang on to a relationship that wasn’t meant to be at this time.  And I failed to see that it was ok.  I was still operating in judgment.  I would cry to myself “But we SHOULD be like this!”  I wasn’t seeing the whole picture.  I get today that my mother and I had an extremely co-dependent relationship.  If we were still in that place of co-dependency, I would never be who I am today.  My mother is only playing the part she was meant to play in the designed scheme of my life.  Had she not began to treat me the way she has, I would not have the courage to write this post, let alone my blog.  I would not be able to speak in the many arenas I have.  I would not have the courage to stop living for my parents and begin to live for myself.  It was painful to let go, but once I started to, I began to feel much better.  Hanging on only kept me in despair.  Now I am filled with peace and a hope for myself. 

And in recognizing all of this, I am not erasing what was.  Not being close to my mother today does not negate the closeness we shared throughout most of my life.  I have learned how to be grateful for all things in my life—even the unpleasant.  When I reflect on my relationship with my mom, I feel love and gratitude. I am grateful because for 30 years of my life, I felt nurtured, loved, and cared for like nobody’s business.  My ongoing joke was that my mom was the Nettie to my Celie.  And once upon a time she was.  Who knows where I’d be without her love.  It’s because of that love and bond we shared that I can genuinely look at her today with fondness.  I can genuinely open my arms and hug her without rolling my eyes or sucking my teeth.  It’s because of love that I can celebrate her birthday with her without resentment.  After all, she is worth celebrating.   She has done her job in my life.  Now since I cannot predict the future, I do not know if we will ever reconcile to the degree we once were.  But what I know is that it does not matter.  People are always in your life for a reason and a season, and when they have fulfilled their purpose, their time ends.  The end of a relationship does not mean that the love and memories have to die.  That’s the beauty of it.  You are left forever changed by the mark they imprinted upon your soul.  That’s no small feat. 

I once thought the worst thing that could ever happen to me was to lose both of my parents.  Well now I have and I know that it’s not. The worst would be if I were to lose sight of all I have because of them. 

You Have to Stand Anyway, So You May as Well Stand in Your Own Power

Happy Friday!  So today's groovy video was inspired by my own life.  You see, what had happened was that I was in this sich-ee-a-shun that had had me feeling all swirly in my innards and what not.  OK, seriously, my poke at bad grammar aside, I found myself in a situation where I really had to get up and stand in my own power.  I don't do that very well.  And it's funny because a few weeks ago, I went to one of my favorite metaphysical shops and was pushed toward a really great Runes reader and one of the first things he told me was "You don't do well at standing in your own power.  But that's ok because things are getting ready to start happening that will cause you to start doing just that."  Well I'll be John Brown cause homeboy was right!  And what I've learned is that it doesn't have to be any major event that makes you want to stand in your own power.  Sometimes it's the little things we have a hard time standing up to say.  And I've also learned that it doesn't take a huge display of a dramatic production to stand in your own power.  Sometimes, it's as simple as saying "No."  And I've also learned that it's not about fighting anyone.  When you stand in your own power, you're really just taking a stand for yourself.  It's not about fighting anyone because it's all about you anyway.  The whole point to standing in your own power is to be true to yourself.

So as I explain in the video, my ex is getting married in Mexico next week (a fact he didn't tell me until the beginning of this month but hey who am I?) and he wants our daughter to be there.  Nothing wrong with that, except for the fact that he wants her in attendance and her passport expired.  So that meant she needed a new one, and ASAP.  So an appointment had to be made at the Chicago Passport Agency to get an expedited passport.  Well, he basically left it all up to me to get' er done (shout out to Larry the Cable Guy).  I did the right thing by my kid and took her, but to show you how the Universe works, I couldn't even get it because he didn't give me the proof of her travel or a copy of his ID (since he wasn't in attendance for the appointment).  And so he ended up having to take both our child and his soon to be wife's daughter this morning. (Don't even ask me how they knew they were getting married in Mexico and wanted the kids there, yet didn't make sure they had passports until now).  So er, an-t-way, I was feeling some kind of way because I am a people pleaser.  I have a strong tendency to care about others and put them before myself.  Since I'm growing, it has become more uncomfortable for me to do that and it's causing me to speak up for myself.  On the one hand, it feels really good, but on the other hand, it's uncomfortable because I have to work the nerve up to speak.  I know with practice it'll get easier.  And the same is true for you.  If you struggle with that area, as I, then just know that you can.  I saw Iyanla Vanzant last year and she said "You have a right, a reason, and a responsibility to speak out against anything that goes against what you know in your heart to be true."  This is now my mantra and it's helping me in my fight against no one but myself.

Why Should I Care?

                                I gotta say this could very well be one of the best things you could teach your kid (language aside). 

Before I begin, I just have to say that this scene still cracks me up!  I have to admit that I did receive a speech very similar if not identical to this from him on many occasions in my life.  Seeing as how it was so colorfully stated, you’d think I’d have really taken it to heart.  I think on some level I did, but alas, as Ced the Entertainer described Luther Vandross’ curl in the Kings of Comedy; it just “wasn’t quite right” with me.  I listened to what he said, but I didn't really hear it.  How could I?  I didn't really know what I was listening to because I hadn't really experienced it yet.

  So this past Sunday was Father’s Day and I must admit it was a semi-bittersweet day for me.  It’s amazing how this one day never seemed like a big deal to me until my father passed away.  If he were alive, odds are we might not have even spent the day together.  Oh sure I would have seen him to give him his card and gift (which would probably would have been some crazy novelty gift like a magic trick from his favorite magic store, a laughing pin, or something grotesque like a farting monkey—he really did love that stuff), but he probably would have gone off to do his own thing like play golf, or go to the gun range, or better yet, go sit on his boat. And that would have been fine because I would have said “It’s your day and you should spend it as you want.”  But now all I want to do is spend the day with him.   I’m so eerily aware of the fact that my reason for celebrating the day is no longer on this physical plane and the only thing I can say about that is that it sucks.  Yet in the midst of it all, as weird as it sounds, I can honestly say that I felt pretty darn good.  I’m grateful that I’m now at the point in my grief where I can smile more than I cry.  I can feel grateful for the time we spent together rather than feel sad for the time we don’t get to share.  I was able to fondly remember so many of our infamous head to head moments and laugh as I recognize just how much alike we truly are.  And even now, I can still hear him talking to me.  What he was speaking of in the above scene is so fitting because for quite a while, that was one of the things I could hear him telling me. 

Everyone who has passed high school (well nowadays, everyone who’s at least made it to the 5^th grade) has experienced not being liked or being negatively talked about.  And let’s be honest, it isn’t a good feeling to know that people are using less than flattering words to talk about you.  More times than not, it’s usually easier to brush off the negative remarks of others if we: don’t like or know the person, can find something equally or even more disparaging to say about the other person.  But why must we resort to playing games or the tit for tat tactics in order to be at peace with what someone else says about us?  In other words, why should we or why do we even care?

I’ve heard it said that you only care about what someone says about you because you think it’s true.  I’m not so sure I entirely agree with that.  I think there are moments where that can be true, but overall, I think most times it just hurts.  It hurts to hear negative (especially negative and false) comments about you. It especially hurts when you know the intent of such comments is to tear you down.  I know I had a terrible time dealing with the after shock of other’s negative comments about me.  And I struggled mainly because I was a grade A people pleaser who only wanted juices and berries, no chemicals in my life (Shout Out to Prince Akeem!). I was very guilty of thinking that other people were like me, so I couldn’t imagine sitting around talking negatively about someone just for the fun of it, just out of spite, jealousy, or my own misery. And for me, the negativity has always had a tendency to come not from those with whom I have minimal to no connection with, but those who at one point were closest to me.  My dad always warned me that no one has the power to hurt you like those closest to you.  I understand that today more than ever. 

You see my dad was my protector.  He protected me from a lot of drama and BS.  Folks didn’t play around him.  They knew he could be a force to reckon with (plus he was rich) so most of the time, people were on their best behavior.  While I knew there would be people who would want to use me, or who wouldn’t like me, I didn’t think those people would be close to me.  Oh boy was I wrong!  Once my dad passed away, much was revealed to me.  It was as if I had been asleep in a coma and then I woke up with all of my senses in hyper drive.   And once that happened, I reached a point from which I will never be able to return.  But the good thing is that I’ve actually learned my lesson in not caring about what others say about me.  And to be honest, I didn’t get here on my own.  I have to thank some people who probably didn’t even intend to help me.  They’re my relatives.  And it’s not all of them.  It’s some.  And it’s the few whom I actually thought the most of.  One of those people is someone I took under my wing, brought into my home when things got bad with her mom, and have been there for since she was born.  One of those people gave birth to me.  Some of those people I call “Auntie” and “Cousin”.  And I love these people dearly (even today), so when I first learned of their betrayal, I was beyond hurt.  I couldn’t fathom that this is how they saw me.  And when did they start this?  It would be a while before I realized that they probably always have.

 

Well these people have no problem lying on me, and talking about me as negatively as they can.  And I really can't say enough how hurtful it was.   When it would get back to me about something I supposedly said, it was so far from sounding anything like me that I couldn’t believe anyone would actually believe I said those things!  Yet I still fought like mad to see past it and hope that they would see me and love me and change.  I still chose to cling to my naiveté, hoping that because my intentions were pure, theirs would be as well.  I was a crying fool for a while.  I mean tear stained face, bloody red eyed, snot nosed, crying mess.  I felt betrayed, yet I wanted my betrayers to tell me they didn’t mean it and they loved me so we could go on acting as if nothing happened.  And then it hit me.  I don’t know the exact moment it came, but my epiphany arrived.  I realized that all of these people were CHOOSING to be this way.  They were not being coerced.  They were not being tricked.  They were making conscious choices to treat me as they were and they didn’t care that they were hurting me. What in DEE HAYLE?!  And you mean to tell me I’m sitting here crying over these people?  This had to stop!

 So first I became angry.  And if you’ve learned anything about anger, you know that the main person you are angry with is yourself.  And so I was.  I was mad at myself for caring.  I was mad at myself for being so kind and good-hearted.  I wanted to be someone else. I didn't want to be the nice person with the good heart who only wanted good things for everyone.  But the problem was that I couldn’t give someone so much power that they had the ability to make me become someone I wasn’t.  And then, I went deeper within.  I took a closer look at those people and then my anger dissipated and I was actually able to feel compassion.  If we all take a closer look at the sources of our defamation, we would see that there really is no reason to give a shiny new Farfegnugen what they say.  In my experience, those who were spending a great deal of time talking negatively about me have been very petty and negative people to begin with.  They usually haven’t had much going (so they believe) as they seemed to much rather prefer talking badly about others than actually doing anything for themselves, and they are cowards.  They’d much rather lie and talk about me behind my back and then try to manipulate me into feeling like it’s my fault than to simply let me know that they don’t like me.  Seriously, if you have something to say about a person, you may as well say it to their face, and as Kevin Hart’s Uncle Richard, Jr. would say, “Say it with your chest!” at that.  So when I examined this I recognized that not only were they spreading lies, but once I moved past the titles they hold in my life; none of them are people who I would really like to be around.  So why was I spending so much time lamenting over what they were saying about me?  I had some people advising me to watch what I say and censor myself and I can see where they were coming from.  But I felt like that was still changing myself for them.  I stand by the words I speak because I know that I carefully choose my words.  I don’t just fly off the handle saying things for the sake of hearing myself speak.  My intentions are pure.  I speak truthfully and with Love.  I don’t seek to tear anyone down.  So I no longer mind if another person chooses to purposefully misconstrue what I have said all to try to defame my character.  I recognize that they are only succeeding at defaming their own.  Besides, I realized that they were probably talking about me all along anyway so if I don’t give them anything to say (which I really wasn’t anyway), they’ll just make something up (which they were doing). 

I think I had such difficulty in this area because it seemed for me that my lesson approached too quickly upon the heels of too much change.  See for me, my dad’s death brought forth a hailstorm of change. It wasn’t just that my father died.  When my father died, many of my relationships followed suit (as you see from what I have just shared).  And this was before I had matured to be able to recognize that relationships are simply containers for growth.  So once you outgrow one, the container is removed.  But at that time, my dad’s death was more than enough change for me so I was fighting like mad to hang on to whatever familiar pieces I could.   I finally recognized that it was my resistance to all of the change; as opposed to what was actually being said about me; that had me so upset.  Once I stopped assigning a value to the words and actions of everyone else, stopped looking for those people to be what I hoped, accepted them all for who they are, and simply allowed things to be, I became content.  It doesn’t bother me now when I hear something I supposedly said or I hear what has been said about me.  I actually feel a little flattered.  That means these people are that concerned with the affairs of little ole me.  That means they see something worthwhile in me.  That means I'm shining way too bright for them.  Why else would they try so hard to darken my light?And that’s what we all have to remember.  People will talk about us until the day we die.  And then they’ll talk about us in our death.  While I’m sure most of us would like the words spoken about us to be positive and full of love, the most important words that are spoken are the ones which will come from us.  

I Love You, But Damn You Make Me Sick!

Happy Happy Friday!  I've been in a little bit of a funk this week.  I've had insomnia for 3 weeks and I think the fact that Sunday is Father's Day has been weighing on me.  When I have managed to get some sleep, I've had some of the most disturbing dreams I've ever had.  All of that funk-i-ness I've been feeling has had me being quite snippy--with others and myself.  I've been especially snippy with my baby girl.  And I don't mean to be, it's just my tiredness and sadness has me unable to give the compassion and patience that I am usually able to give to her.  So it got me to thinking about how we feel about the people we love.  If you know me (and now if you don't), you know that my daughter is the love of my life.  But she can pinch that very last nerve of mine like nobody else!  The only person who surpassed her ability was my father.  And that doesn't mean I don't love her, or that I didn't love him.  I actually like that she does.  It lets me know I'm not a robot and I'm not some emotionally crippled human being who doesn't know how to express the full spectrum of my feelings.  I love the scene in "Grown Ups" where Joyce Van Patten, who plays Gloria, says something to the effect of "There's a lot of hostility that comes with love".  And she is so right.  I  mean we even treat ourselves--the ones we should love the most--hostile.  So why would we expect that we wouldn't do the same to the others we love?  The love is still there, but all great love brings up some of the other stuff and that's good.  It means we're growing.  Whenever there is growth, all that other garbage tends to come up for us so we can toss it.  I like that I get the chance to do some soul cleaning. Hope you do too. Have a fantastic weekend!

It's Not Your Money, So Why Do You Care?

Wait what's the problem here? Folks complain that rich kids don't work hard for anything, yet you're mad cause this kid worked hard and because of his hard work he received a scholarship?  I'm not just confused, I'm confus-ed.

 So yesterday morning, I had the chance to speak at Gale Math & Science Academy’s 8th grade graduation.  I really enjoy speaking to young people, and yesterday was no exception.  One of the key things I pressed upon them was not limiting themselves based on other people’s perceptions of them.  That was a lesson I had to learn the hard way.  While I can’t be in any way sure that my words meant anything to the graduation class, I certainly hope they did.  So when I got home and began perusing the internet, my words came echoing back to me.  Now let me first disclose that I don’t really spend a lot of time perusing the internet unless it’s to do some shopping.  Here’s a fun fact about me. . . I am the internet shopping queen.  If you need an item that is hard pressed to be found, oh I will find it.  Think I’m not? Huh, think again.  So I’ll take a pause for the cause from tooting my own very shiny horn to get back to the point of today’s post.  Where was I?  Oh yeah, so as I was saying, I don’t really take the time to peruse the internet, but I happened to be perusing the net and I found an article about Justin Combs, son of the oh so extravagantly famous (and rich) Sean “Diddy” Combs (used to be P. Diddy, used to be Puff, used to be Puffy, and oh well we could go on).  Seems the young man has received a hefty athletic scholarship from UCLA for his football playing abilities.  And I do mean hefty. I read that it is a $54,000 athletic scholarship.  Now, I don’t know why, but I even took the liberty of reading the comments and I just have to say, while I wasn’t really taken aback, I was still shaking my doggone head because it just reinforced my failure to understand folks obsession with money—and other people’s money at that.

So the gist of it is that there is a debate amongst folks as to whether or not young Combs should have received a scholarship when his father is rich and can afford to send him to school.  It was said by many that the scholarship should go to someone more deserving, or in need.  Now, I have a little bit of experience with folks and their assumptions and judgments about my life because my father was rich and famous so if you think I’m biased, well I am.  I know firsthand what it feels like to have everything you ever do or have scrutinized simply because your parent (not you) has money.  Here’s the thing, he was awarded an athletic scholarship based on his athletic abilities (which is exactly what athletic scholarships are awarded for and not merit instead of financial status) AND he has a 3.75 GPA proving that he is indeed a student athlete who is completely deserving of a scholarship.  People on the boards even went so far as to insinuate that perhaps he has a 3.75 GPA because his father is rich.  What in Da Hayle?!  So the boy can’t be smart simply because he’s smart?  He couldn’t have possibly earned his grades?  Instead of paying for his tuition, Diddy instead chose to pay for his high school grades to ensure that he received a scholarship so he wouldn’t have to chalk up the dough? Seriously.  As my Daddy used to say, Common sense ain’t all that common.  Others even went on to say that he should not accept the scholarship, so that a more “deserving” student could receive it.  And others still, chose to go even further, some said Diddy should now go ahead and pay for some other kids to go to school since his son was offered a scholarship.  How does that make sense?  Not saying that he can’t, and who knows, he maybe has already, but who are any of us to decide what another person should do with his or her money?  At the end of the day, Justin is not the one with money, his father is.  Why should he not accept something he earned?  And what does his father’s bank account balance have to do with his abilities and work hard? 

Like I said, I know what it feels like to have everything about me (accomplishments, abilities, possessions, etc.) dissected simply because my father was rich and famous.  It really is a double-edged sword.  On the one hand, I (and everything I did or had) was diminished to being a byproduct of my famous father.  On the other hand, if I didn’t seem as extravagant as others thought I should have been, I was almost shamed into being less than.  I applaud young Combs because he seems to have a good grasp of who he is, which is more than I can say for my 18 year-old self.  While Justin seems self assured, I, on the other hand, was extremely insecure and fought tooth and nail against anyone being able to legitimately say anything about me had to do with my father—to my own disservice.  If I only knew then . . . I understand that unless you experience it for yourself, you really don’t have any idea of what I’m talking about, which makes it extremely difficult—damn near impossible—for you to have compassion.  And understand that I’m not asking for pity for myself or any other children of celebrities.  We are afforded lives and experiences that many will never have because of our parents.  However, we are also privy to a great amount of backlash because of it.  And it really never ends.  Why just a few months ago, someone took the liberty of contacting me on Twitter to tell me how lame he thought I was for what he believed was my attempt to use my father’s celebrity to become famous.  First of all, I wasn’t aware that I was even trying to become famous.  I thought I was minding my own business.  Didn’t know I wasn’t supposed to do that.  Thankfully, having been through everything I’ve been through, I was much better able to deal with such foolishness than if I’d received that  message 15 years ago.  

My dad and I used to sit and talk about this issue.  It honestly pissed him off.  He even said to me during one of our conversations.  “People make me sick.  They respect me and my story because they feel like I deserve it because I came from nothing.  But because you’re my daughter, they don’t/won’t respect yours.   If I take good care of you, then you’re spoiled and privileged, and I should stop. If I don’t take care of you, it’ll be 'It’s a damn shame Bernie Mac don’t take care of his daughter'. I’m damned if I do, damned if I don’t.”  And you know what?  He was right.  And he always instilled in me the Eff em attitude.  He told me to not care about other people and whatever foolishness they had to say because in the end, all they’re really saying with their “criticism” is that they really wish they had what I had.  I heard him, but I didn’t really get what he was saying until much later.  Today I get it, and I’m glad Justin Combs gets it already.  He’ll spare himself much of the torment I put myself through. 

Love Don't Love Nobody . . . Or Does It?

Happy, Happy Friday to you! And Happy 1st Day of June!  Not sure if that really means anything, but for a lot of us it's a sign that summer is right around the corner so that seems like cause for celebration.  An-t-way . . .  I don't know where you are, but here in the Windy City known as Chicago, it's kind of cool and dreary.  It's been raining for the past 2 days and for this little ole insomniac right here, this is nothing but the perfect sleeping weather.  Yet for some strange reason, sleep keeps eluding me.  Yawn.  Oh well, what's a girl to do?  Once upon a time, when I would find myself suffering from insomnia, I would be pretty damn depressed and cranky.  Now because I consider y'all family, I'll admit to you that I am just a wee bit cranky, but gratefully, I'm not depressed.  Oddly enough, instead of feeling depressed, I feel especially grateful.  I'm even more aware of all the good things that I have going in my life.  And for me, one of the--if not the greatest--things I have in my life is Love.  I was once a girl who focused so much on the Love I felt I wasn't getting, that it caused me to miss out on the Love that was already there.  I have since matured and learned that you can't get what you are not giving.  I wasn't even Loving myself, so how in the heck could I expect anyone else to Love me?  Glad you asked, makes it easy for me to give you the answer without seeming presumptuous.  Well the simple truth is that I couldn't.  So I was just this sad, lonely, depressing little thing attracting no good ninjas into my hemisphere, allowing them to hurt me (and repeatedly at that); then lamenting over my sorrows; talking about how I hated Love cause Love hated me.  And guess what?  Love didn't hate me!  Never did, never will.  It was I who hated myself.  So I just kept inviting other folks into my space to treat me the way I thought I deserved to be treated.  And guess what?  It wasn't them either!  It was all me!  How do you like them apples?  (I prefer mine stewed, but that's another topic).  Now that I get that School House Rock lesson, all those ninjas who didn't mean me any good have dissipated and a greater batch of Love warriors have entered my plane.  And like Tony, Toni, Tone sang some years ago, it feels good!

So that's my share for the day.  And it ties into what today's video is about.  Love is surrounding you every moment of every day of your life.  If you get hurt by someone, please understand that it wasn't Love who did it to you, it was just another soul wandering this human plane trying to figure things out just as you.  Just loose that person and go on with the business of loving yourself so you can receive the Love you know you want.  So what say you?  Do you have a love or hate relationship with Love? Have you been badly hurt and now you're like poor little Bobby from the Wedding Singer wrecking other folks receptions singing "Love Stinks"?  Tell me all about it, cause you know, sharing is caring.