It's Going to Be Beautiful

I have been having a most awesome time here in LA.  I have seen some great friends, chilled in great weather, and I’ve even been sleeping a good 7 to 8 hours every night!  I have just had a ball.  It really has been a welcome retreat for my soul.  And even though I’ve been having a magically delicious time, I can still only be me, so of course my mind has still been going a mile a minute.  Before I left, I was really in an icky place.  I was feeling impatient, down trodden, and somewhat defeated.  And there really hasn’t been an impetus for those feelings.  I think I’m just feeling stuck and I’m ready for a change.  I went to see a reader at one of my favorite metaphysical shops and he told me that my life was about to turn into a whirlwind.  He said there was so much change on my horizon, but I’m just not ready yet.  He told me to get ready because it’s close, just not quite as close as I’d like it to be.  And I’m really intuitive so I really knew that already.  I do feel like I’m on the cusp of something major, but it’s just not the right time yet.  When my life started turning all topsy-turvy a few years back, I just kept saying, “I’m being prepared for something greater.”  I felt it.  I knew it.  I trusted it.  But lately I was just feeling like “OK, I did all that suffering for what?!  Where is my big breakthrough?  I want it now!”  I think I was getting so caught up in my oh so human, illogical mind that I was missing things. And missing things was causing me to doubt and fear.  And fear is nothing but the devil.  I can’t say that I believe in a big ugly monster with horns and a pitchfork out to devour my soul, but I do believe that Fear is pure evil because it keeps us so locked into dysfunction and away from the abundance God wants for us. 

So since I’ve been thinking, I have been able to recall a lot of seemingly mundane moments, which I now realize were kind of profound.   One such moment occurred a couple of weeks ago.  I was taking my baby to school. A street near our home that we take to get to her school is under construction.  It’s quite a mess to pass, as the entire intersection is now nothing but gravel.  As we were passing by, Jas asked me “Mommy, what happened to the street?”  I began to explain to her that the street was being re paved.  So she asked me why the street looked as it did now and I told her “Well Kiddo, the old parts have to be torn down in order to allow the workers to build the new street.”  As I was saying this, I literally had a Hallelujah, A-Ha moment!  Isn’t that so much like life and how it operates?  Things are constantly changing and being made new, but in order for the new to come to fruition, the old has to be completely torn down.  Even Lowes has a commercial containing the song “Make it Beautiful (Tear it Down)” by the Phantoms.  It’s really a great song.  The lyrics include: 

“Gotta hit the wall to make it right

Break it down, break it down to see the light

(Chorus) You gotta tear it down, you gotta tear it down

Sometimes you gotta tear it down to make it beautiful”

I think that is the beautiful thing about life.  God, The Universe, The Great One, Our Creator, Life or whatever you’re comfortable calling this Divine Energy is always, always, always working things out in our favor!  Great things are in store for us.  Yet we are so afraid, so stuck in our human-ness that we miss it.  Things that we perceive as bad (relationships breaking up, losing jobs, losing homes, not getting what we want) are actually favors.  And when it’s time for the really great things to come our way, all the old has to be broken up and tossed out.  But we can’t accept what’s headed our way because we’re so busy looking at what we think we’ve lost.  How crazy are we?  Oh it’s just me?!  Well, fine be that way.  I’ll just speak for myself.  I have been so riddled in victim mode.  I’ve been so worried about what I lost, how I can’t wait for the day when I no longer feel the loss, that I was missing the point of it all.  Something beautiful is in store for my life.  The momentary losses were just that:  momentary!  Yet I was so blindsided by my pain, so stuck in judgment of what the pain meant, who the people who hurt me were, and myself for being hurt that I was missing it.  I was allowing the tearing down moments to define who I am and what my life was meant to be.  Slow down little red corvette!  I was driving too fast in the wrong direction.  Thank goodness for growth, for wisdom, and time.  Time is really on our sides.  We think because our time here on Earth is finite, that it isn’t.  But it really is.  Everything that happens, every choice we make, is part of the Divine plan for our lives.  So now instead of dreading going through another tearing down moment, I’ll be excited.  However, I am putting out the disclaimer that I don’t look for another tearing down moment for quite some time. 

By the way, this is just one of the reasons I love being a Mommy.  I learn so much from my kid.  I think understanding that you can learn so much from your kid is part of being a great parent.  But anyway, that’s another post so back to my point.  Alexander Graham Bell said, “When one door closes, another one opens, but we often look so long and regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.”  I really think he’s right.    I don’t know about you, but I’m done looking at the closing doors.