Why Can't We Be Friends?

So I was up late the other night when I happened to catch a previously aired episode of The Wendy Williams Show.  During her initial gossip talk, she began talking about Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson.  She said she thought he was the perfect guy until she recently found out that he is still not only friends, but also business partners with his ex wife.  She was also alarmed by the fact that he did not pay her alimony, as he only pays child support.  She felt this was a red flag and asked the audience how many would be comfortable dating their man knowing his ex wife still in the picture in this kind of capacity.  Many in the audience shook their heads no.   In fact, her words were “I knew he couldn’t be as perfect as he seems.”  I think I must be different because I found that very odd.  I found that to be a plus to him.  I'll admit that there are quite a few things that would give me cause to pause with a man, but a great relationship with his ex wife and mother of his child is not one of them.

I have some high school buddies who recently celebrated their 10^th anniversary and they have a great relationship with the wife’s ex husband.  It took some work, but they are finally there.  The ex attends quite a few family functions.  If you didn’t know any better, you’d swear he was family.  Well to be honest, he actually is.  Another friend expressed that he would have a serious problem with this situation.  He stated that he would not want anyone his wife was once intimate with to be that close to either of them—even if children were involved.  He would prefer the honk the car horn to let us know you’re outside when you pick up the kids method.  Now maybe I’m just different, but I find that so odd.  I really don’t get the problem with

Certainly everyone is entitled to his or her own opinion, and I’m not bashing it.  I’m just confused as to why people feel this way.  While it’s not a necessarily accurate view, I tend to look at a person’s relationship with their ex as a good indication of how they’ll probably be with me should things come to an end.  So I feel that if he’s on good terms with her and still has a lot of love and respect for her; he’ll probably have the same for me if things end.  In my opinion, it is the mark of two individuals who are choosing to be mature and respectful of the fact that they weren’t meant to be together.  And that is ok.  I’d much rather prefer to deal with someone who has an excellent relationship and friendship with their ex (I’m really referring to unions involving children), than one who is at war with his ex.  Now of course, this presumption is operating under the premise that there is an either/or circumstance, meaning that either the relationship is great or it’s terrible.  I understand that everything is not black or white and there are actually more than a few shades of shades of gray in life.  I myself have a rather meh relationship with my ex husband.  We’re not at all friends.  We’re also not mortal enemies.  However, in saying that, I can admit that we barely speak and we certainly haven’t mastered this co-parenting thing.  I would actually like things to progress toward a friendship, but I don’t think it will ever be.  And I’ve made my peace with that.  So I do get that not everyone will have the idealized Dwayne Johnson/ex  Dany Garcia relationship.  But I don’t get why the former would be more desirable for my future mate than the latter.   I think people give ex’s way too much power.  Unless the ex is extremely disrespectful and oblivious to proper boundaries or your mate still wants his or her ex, I see no reason to be that concerned with the ex.  I think it would be beneficial for all parties to be friendly.  And again, I’m really speaking more from the point of view of one who shares a child with an ex.  I think when children are involved (and I don’t mean grown children), I think it is much more healthy for everyone to be friendly.  I do get that sometimes that just isn’t possible, but I would still think that would be more ideal for a newcomer than to walk into the middle of the “baby momma/daddy drama”.  But like I said, I might just be different.   So what say you?  What are your thoughts on the sich-e-a-shun?