If You're Sexy and You Know it

A great figure or physique is nice, but it's self-confidence that makes someone really sexy.

Vivica Fox

 So I have a confession to make.  In my 34 years on this earth, I have never—I mean ever, felt beautiful.  And it doesn’t stop there.  I have never felt even remotely sexy either.  Kind of tragic, isn’t it?  Sure I’ve looked at myself and thought:   “I look cute today.", but I have never really felt beautiful or sexy.  Now the beautiful (no pun intended) thing is that this obvious, yet tragic malfunction of my brain does not really affect my mind.  I feel like beauty radiates from within and I do believe I have a beautiful soul.  But the sexy part?  Yeah I have to admit that bothers me.  See, I have always wanted to be one of those vixen-esque type of women.  You know the ones.  The women who are just so sexy that it literally oozes from their entire being.  They don’t have to utter a word.  They simply enter a room, stand, or wake up for that matter, and everyone within a 20-mile radius is in awe of how sexy they are.  Women like this:

 She just seems like some kind of siren capable of making any man succumb to her feminine wiles

Or this:

Not only was Kellita one of the sexiest TV moms ever, she's actually like that in real life. 

And this: 

 Like seriously?  Look at this woman.  She just looks like she wakes up like this!

And let's not forget this one:

 She may not be bad, but she was sure drawn that way!

And finally this:

Can you really get any more sexy than Sophia Vergara?

And don’t get me wrong, I’m well aware that all of these women have the help of excellent make up artists, hair stylists, clothing designers, and for the sake of these pictures, even some great graphic artists and photographers to photo shop them to sexy perfection, but that’s not my point.  My desire is not so much to look like them, but to possess that innate sex-ay quality that they seemingly do.  And in the words of the great crooner himself, Luther (Big Luther as Cedric the Entertainer would say) if only for one night, I’d like to know what it feels like to be sexy.  And who knows, maybe none of the aforementioned women feel sexy themselves.  Maybe they have insecurities just like the rest of us.  But then again, maybe they don’t.  But again, that’s not my point.  My point is that I need to channel my inner vixen.  It has always been one of my fears that I would focus too much on my insecurities, get old, then look back and realize how beautiful I am.   It has actually happened to a small degree already.  My self-esteem during my teenage years and early 20s was at an all time low.  And when I look at those pictures today I wonder what the heck was wrong with me!  I was a hot chick and didn’t even know it.  And that, in my humble opinion, is a damn shame. 

I’d really like my poor self-image concept to end and very soon while it's at it.  So I’m taking steps to get over myself and learn how to be sexy.  And one of my best teachers is none other than my 5-year-old daughter.  Now before you go charging to comment and call me all kinds of the ever so unfit parent, let me ‘splain myself here.  I’m not telling her she’s sexy or forcing her into any kind of inappropriate-ness (yes I just made that up).  I’m not in the running to be a Toddlers & Tiaras mama.  Not at all.  When I say this, I mean that my daughter seems to possess the required level of confidence required to be deemed sexy.  And just so we’re clear, I’m not one of those people who believe that sexiness has anything to do with sex.  While of course I know the word sex is contained in the word, I don’t believe sex is what it boils down to.  I think sexiness is a state of being.  It’s in the way a person walks, stands, talks, looks, hell sometimes just breathes.  At the tender age of 5, my daughter is well aware of her feminine wiles and how to use them—especially against the opposite sex.  My daughter is confident in herself and honestly, isn’t that a huge part of what sexiness is?  You should see her when she’s confronted with a member of the opposite sex.  She tilts her head just so, stands a little more on one leg, raises the pitch of her voice just so, and plays extremely coy just so she can get what she wants.  And I maintain that she just came here that way cause she for sure didn’t learn that from her mama!  Her mama is completely clueless and just too damn direct to even know how to attempt to do that.  But I’ll be John Brown if it doesn’t work for her.  Now I’m well aware that it works because she’s so stinking cute (and yes I say so myself!) and she’s a kid.  But the premise behind what she does works for us grown little girls as well.  I’ve seen other women employ the same techniques almost effortlessly.  And it befuddles me as to how they do it.  But she’s so aware of when to turn it on and off.  She will never attempt to talk to a woman in the same manner that she does with a man.  But she does let them know that she believes she's the stuff.  If someone compliments her by telling her she's cute, she responds with "Why yes I am".  Meanwhile, when I receive a compliment, I'm trying to remember to say thank you because I'm in shock that they're talking about me.  And while I encourage her to maintain her self worth and positive self image, I'm writing down notes so I can study later and be just like her when I grow up.  But I still maintain that my child has been here before and it’s just par for her course.  

I realize that this may come across as extremely superficial to some.  And it’s not that I’m speaking in a superficial sense.  I just think that since I’m here on this earth, living this life I’ve got, I may as well enjoy myself.  I would like to take advantage of the full experience.  I don’t want to use my powers for evil, just want to know what it would feel like so I can say it’s been done.  I guess the main hindrance to my sexy effervescence is my lack of confidence.  I’ve got to believe I’m sexy if I expect to be seen as sexy.  And maybe I don’t even need to do that.  Maybe there are people out there who see me and think I am sexy.  And by all means, if you’re one of those individuals out there, let me know what you exactly it is that you see.  Hopefully I can start seeing it for myself.  I’m all about learning. 

Anywhoo, what say you?  Do you feel or know you’re sexy?  What exactly is sexy to you? Who do you think is sexy?  And if you don’t feel sexy, why the heck not and what are you prepared to do about it?